Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
