just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
