Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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