i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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