Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
