rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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