my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
