Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
