the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize