you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
