My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize