Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
