That's intense
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
