using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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