If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
