During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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