Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
