I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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