Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize