he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
