Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
