theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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