Apparently you make a good broom.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
