youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the night ended with taco bell and tears
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
