Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
