I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
