thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
