its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
