So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
