I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
