Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
