I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
