big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I want her autograph on my taint
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
