$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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