I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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