I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize