i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
