You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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