make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
