Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
