It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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