We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize