remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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