I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
