I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
