Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
