absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
