I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
