we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
