Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
