I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
