When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sorry about my life...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
