Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
