he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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