Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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