The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
