The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
