So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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