Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My bed smells like the plague
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
