Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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