Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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