I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
